00:00:00:00 - 00:00:06:18
Speaker 2
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast today I have on Rachel and she is here to tell us a story.

00:00:06:20 - 00:00:50:22
Speaker 1
So my story is about finding light. When I was a little girl, I lost my brother who was really, really ill. It was a genetic disorder, and I saw him as my light. And I remember once hearing a quote about what we most fear is the light within us. And I never understood what that meant. I very much, I think, seeked it in external factors.

00:00:51:00 - 00:01:22:00
Speaker 1
And my brother died when I was like 14. So I spent my teenage life and my 20s trying to find validation. But then I think I also didn't really know what light was so like. Happy moments might have occurred because I drank too much, and then I thought that was finding my light. Or, just laughing with friends, which those are.

00:01:22:01 - 00:02:08:01
Speaker 1
Those are happy moments. But when I got into my 30s, I had my first child and age when I had her, it wasn't like in the moment of delivery. It was like bringing her home. And I truly looked at her. And I was like, how do more people not feel this? I could feel absolute joy, connection, desire, and I wanted more.

00:02:08:03 - 00:02:43:07
Speaker 1
But I also questioned why it didn't exist before or why I didn't feel this attachment. And when I watch her, I see light in play in just observing her. And what that actually led to one. It led to a second child because I was like, I see this, I love it, I want to create more of it.

00:02:43:07 - 00:03:23:07
Speaker 1
And the desire for the bond is so strong for me. But what it also led to was self-discovery and realizing that I had to discover my light, which was lockdown, and it was lockdown because I lost my brother and I had. I could easily describe it as I felt my heartbreak and I didn't understand it as such a young child, but I knew that I never wanted to feel it again.

00:03:23:09 - 00:03:55:03
Speaker 1
But the only way. It's not that I won't, because the reality is, is that people do die. But I needed to make my light shine. And that was like through connecting with myself, following my own dreams and model ING the love that I desire to my family.

00:03:55:05 - 00:04:14:02
Speaker 2
So the growth that came from the birth of your children, your own personal growth, do you think that would have happened without the birth of your children?

00:04:14:04 - 00:04:58:07
Speaker 1
I'm not 100% sure. Like I think the birth of my children did two things. It made me curious, but it also made me know what I did not want in life. I did not want my children to feel unloved. I did not want my children to be treated a certain way. But for that to occur, I also needed to work on myself because that also meant changing who I was, so that I showed up as the version of myself that I wanted to be for them.

00:04:58:09 - 00:05:26:01
Speaker 1
Would I have discovered that without them? Maybe, because there were definitely other facet facets in my life that created happiness. But the intensity of providing them is something else.

00:05:26:03 - 00:05:33:06
Speaker 2
So what are the things that you started to do to find your light again?

00:05:33:08 - 00:06:16:07
Speaker 1
Well, at first it was like learning not to be so angry at myself and so hard on myself. So like digging into personal development. I kind of started reading books. I started like experimenting with like meditation and journaling, and I tried tapping and then but I was very, very self-conscious of it. And like, even, even now, I, I'm careful about who I bring those things up with because I just recently had someone say to me who journals every day, like, that's not even possible.

00:06:16:07 - 00:06:48:21
Speaker 1
And I was like, actually, I do. But I think, those have really helped me. A huge, huge thing that has helped me is breathwork, because it has allowed me to reflect. It's allowed me to connect to myself. And I actually had a moment where I had this black box every time I went into my breathwork session, I had this black box, and I didn't know what the black box was.

00:06:48:23 - 00:07:05:22
Speaker 1
And so then with my coach, I had to open the black box, and we were both like my coach admitted to me, she's like, I'm actually, I was scared to know what was in that black box. And I was like, I was too. I actually thought death was going to be in the black box, but it was my light.

00:07:05:23 - 00:07:15:01
Speaker 1
And so visually seeing that for myself, helps me realize, like, I can let it shine.

00:07:15:03 - 00:07:19:21
Speaker 2
Yeah. Can you define what you mean by light? Your light?

00:07:19:23 - 00:07:55:07
Speaker 1
I think just being me, like allowing myself to just show up as me and not worry, like, oh, I was too loud. Oh, like I wasn't with that group or just doing the things I like. Like, actually, like, if I want to color, I will color. If I want to stretch, I stretch. If I actually don't want to do something, I actually now speak up and be like, yeah, I really just don't want to watch that TV show.

00:07:55:09 - 00:08:03:06
Speaker 1
And someone might say to me, like, why? And I'm like, I don't know. I just I'd rather go stretch kind of thing.

00:08:03:08 - 00:08:13:01
Speaker 2
Okay. So what has been the impact for you these days? Living your truth and finding your light?

00:08:13:03 - 00:08:46:04
Speaker 1
Well, I set a goal of opening up a Pilates studio last year, and I initially thought that goal meant getting the business plan done. So I thought it was literally last September. And I thought by this September, I would have a business plan and a possible location. I have actually not only written the business plan, submitted it for financial approval, I got the approval, I got the space, and I've already been open for two months.

00:08:46:06 - 00:08:53:15
Speaker 1
To it. It really accelerated things like, yes, I've visualized it, but I've also created it.

00:08:53:17 - 00:09:04:20
Speaker 2
That's incredible. Thank you, thank you. And you said you made, like, a whole bunch of pre-sales to your, studio as well, right?

00:09:05:02 - 00:09:33:00
Speaker 1
Yeah. So I, like, did, like a pre-sale, and that was scary. Because I wasn't sure if people actually wanted it. And then, like, people I didn't even know were buying it. But it was also putting it out there, like one of my big realizations after opening up the studio was people like me and people come here for me and.

00:09:33:00 - 00:09:48:02
Speaker 1
And I was sitting in the room and people were talking about how they knew me and comparing, and it was actually overwhelming, that I was having a little bit of, like.

00:09:48:03 - 00:10:09:22
Speaker 1
I didn't know how to handle it because I've wanted it for so long, that recognition. And here it was, that it was maybe intimidating. Like I knew that I wanted it, but I just didn't expect it to be so in my face. So there was the duality of, like it was rewarding, but it was scary too.

00:10:10:00 - 00:10:24:19
Speaker 2
And what about the idea of opening the studio. Where was that like an instant kind of thing or where you're kind of meditating on it for a while. What was the process of birthing that idea.

00:10:24:21 - 00:10:34:21
Speaker 1
Well I got trained in Pilates like almost 20 years ago, and from that moment I always thought I would have a studio.

00:10:34:21 - 00:10:36:20
Speaker 2
Okay.

00:10:36:22 - 00:11:09:05
Speaker 1
But I just kept putting it off. And. I just, I had someone approach me about opening up a spin studio, and I was like, yeah, I'll be an investor, because spin doesn't really resonate with me. I, I did teach it in the past, but I just didn't imagine, like, owning a spin studio just wasn't my vibe. And we talked about and, oh, could this be a spin Pilates studio?

00:11:09:07 - 00:11:38:00
Speaker 1
And I guess, that kind of opened up the doors of. Realizing one. Why is this dream been sitting there for 20 years and I did nothing about it. And my husband actually looked me in the eyes and said, you're almost 40. If you don't do it now, you're never going to do it. And it was kind of like, you're right, because I've been sitting on it for so long.

00:11:38:00 - 00:11:49:16
Speaker 1
If I don't take action, I'm only going to continue to sit on it and I just had to do it or else I would never be satisfied.

00:11:49:18 - 00:11:52:08
Speaker 2
Because it was your dream for so long.

00:11:52:09 - 00:11:54:12
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.

00:11:54:14 - 00:11:59:09
Speaker 2
And how does it feel now to have it. And it's real.

00:11:59:11 - 00:12:30:07
Speaker 1
Surreal. Like it's, it's only two months old so it's a little bit of okay. Still figuring out the nuances. How does this work. What am I not seeing. Where am I blind spots. But at the same time, it's like, shit, I already did this like an even. We're away on a retreat together and it's like I had to trust.

00:12:30:09 - 00:13:02:03
Speaker 1
Like I just had people start like a new instructor, started the day I left. Like I had to trust that this was possible, this was okay, and that I've done the work. And not only do I have to trust the instructor, cause I have to trust my clients. I have to just know that it's it's going to be okay and not like micromanage and control or, but it's exciting to like, I'm like, it's here.

00:13:02:08 - 00:13:39:19
Speaker 1
The biggest piece that actually really, really excites me. I don't think my girls understand it right now, but hopefully in ten years they're going to realize like, oh, my mom went after her dreams and my mom went after her dreams. Not once, not twice. Like she just kept going. And the example that that led for them, because part of my wanting to spark my light, part of I want to see their light shine.

00:13:40:00 - 00:14:04:19
Speaker 1
But how are they going to let their light shine if they don't have role models? And I am and their dad are one of the biggest role models in their life. So we have to go after our goals and we have to let our light shine. And the only way that's possible is if I just put on my big girl pants, be scared shitless and just go.

00:14:05:17 - 00:14:10:07
Speaker 1
And so it's been facing that and knowing that.

00:14:10:08 - 00:14:32:11
Speaker 2
I love that. Thank you. I know like the studio is new. So there's going to be lots of busyness around the studio. And actually even with its newness it's probably also very exciting like you said. But are there other things that you're also doing to still keep up your light that's not in the studio, right?

00:14:32:11 - 00:14:58:19
Speaker 1
Oh, yeah. Like one. I still like meditate and journal. I'm here for this retreat, which just definitely this weekend, like live into my light and it was I, I was really scared about coming to this retreat because I was like, I just opened up the studio. I was feeling really, really guilty. But as I'm here, I'm like, no, this was so good for myself.

00:14:58:19 - 00:15:34:14
Speaker 1
Like just connecting with myself. The self-care. I still workout and train in kettlebell sport and I'm not as hardcore serious as I was five six years ago, but I still keep that and I still have like internal physical goals, and I think that helps my light shine. But I'm also just like finding new ways to let light let my light shine.

00:15:34:16 - 00:15:57:01
Speaker 1
So like one of them was, I said, coloring. Like the only reason I got into coloring is I started having coloring stuff for my kids and I was like, actually, I want to color and I really enjoy doing this. And, I'm home schooling in the homeschooling has been actually really fun for myself. Like, it's kind of like re exploration of things that I wasn't doing.

00:15:57:03 - 00:16:00:06
Speaker 2
Oh. Where is your studio at.

00:16:00:08 - 00:16:01:19
Speaker 1
It's in the Nemo bc.

00:16:01:22 - 00:16:04:07
Speaker 2
Okay. Do you want to drop the name.

00:16:04:09 - 00:16:07:18
Speaker 1
It's called Return to form kinesiology and bodies.

00:16:07:20 - 00:16:11:13
Speaker 2
What does that name means to you.

00:16:11:15 - 00:16:31:10
Speaker 1
So one I work with a lot of injured people. So before the holidays, studio, I was using Pilates to help people, like, recover from injury. I was also doing strength training, so it was kind of combination. So if someone came to me and they were injured, I would kind of figure out like what was the best exercise modality.

00:16:31:12 - 00:17:02:16
Speaker 1
So it was helping them kind of like return to their form, like return to good movement, reducing the pain. But the return also came from reformer, because a reformer is a piece of equipment. And we were sitting there brainstorming about what were we going to originally call the business. And we for some reason, my husband was sitting there and he was like reformer and he came up with it.

00:17:02:16 - 00:17:11:09
Speaker 1
Somehow he connected the dots and said, return to form. And, it's yeah, it's resonated with me.

00:17:11:11 - 00:17:19:10
Speaker 2
I like it, I like it. Thank you. So, where can people find you if they want to find out more about you or your studio?

00:17:19:12 - 00:17:42:14
Speaker 1
Yeah. So I'm at return to form. Okay. That's my website, which needs updating because I actually like the studio is like bang, bang, bang that the website is, like, not up to date with the studio as much as I would like. I'm on Instagram. Return to form kinesiology. Those are my two main things I would say.

00:17:42:14 - 00:17:43:15
Speaker 1
Yeah. Okay.

00:17:43:17 - 00:17:50:22
Speaker 2
Any final closing thoughts for our audience?

00:17:51:00 - 00:17:55:22
Speaker 1
That I hope each individual finds their light. And that includes you, Tina.

00:17:56:00 - 00:17:59:08
Speaker 2
Thank you. Thank you for being on the show. Thank you.